why couldn’t i be born with an older brother who is my best friend and has hot friends that flirt with me and drives me places like mcdonalds when im sad and punches rude boys in the face for me.
My brother once sat on me and farted until I passed out
my brother duct taped me to a treadmill and turned it to the highest setting once
when I was four my brother locked me in a ferret cage for an hour on Christmas Eve
the thing is though everytime a girl compliments me on a dress/skirt with pockets and I declare THANKS IT HAS POCKETS her response completely changes from “oh that’s nice” to “FUCK ME BACKWARDS ARE YOU FOR REAL SHOW ME SHOW ME THE POCKETS”
Sorry I can’t hear you over my pro Tumblr status.
In case you missed it, Frozen won.